Dreaming With A Broken Heart
by Shipper Friendly
Summary: SONGFIC. He wasn't even stopping her. She just kept flirting with him. And Lily couldn't stand it. J/L MWPP era


**I love this song so much and Lily and James are one of my favorite couples!!! I don't own HP or Dreaming With A Broken Heart by John Mayer. Oh and her name is Feh-lih-sha not Fe-leesh-a. I like Felisha better :D  
**

**--**

**LILY POV  
**

It started when I saw him there. I saw James there, without his buddies. With _her_. Felisha Gasparo, a sixth year. I mean, first what kind of name is Felisha Gasparo anyway? And second, why was she all over James? And why wasn't he stopping her? Why? WHY? This has got to be the worst birthday ever.

You see, I thought it was going well. I thought James brought his head back to Earth and matured up this year. Our last year here. So I agreed on a date. That was about four months ago and our relationship status has been on 'Awesome' the whole time. Now, it's the end of January and he changes it to 'Terrible'.

But I wasn't about to run from him. That would just make me look weak. No, I am a Gryffindor and I do not let a boy hurt me...not in this way and not on my birthday. _Not _on my birthday.

So I marched to the Gryffindor table. Felisha was still all over him; ruffling his hair and stroking his arm. I couldn't see his face, but that didn't matter. He wasn't stopping her. So I will.

"Felisha." I said icily. She turned around and smirked at me.

"Oh happy _birthday_, Lily!" Felisha laughed. "I was just telling Jamie here how happy I was for you! I mean, it's your last year here!" Jamie? You have _got _to be kidding me.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to speak with _Jamie._" I spat the name. James looked scared. All I kept thinking was _Please let this be a nightmare, please._ This couldn't be real. James wouldn't let her do that, right?

Felisha glared at me as she sashayed over to her giggling friends.

"What was that about, James?" Tears fogged my vision and tortured me by almost falling down my face. I tried to keep my composure and tried not to blink so the tears wouldn't spill. I knew if they started they would never end.

"I-I don't know." He scratched the back of his neck.

"You _don't know?_ You didn't know a girl was all over you and you didn't do anything about it?"

"I-I really don't know what was happening..." He looked down. "Please don't be mad?"

"How can I not be mad?! Great birthday present, by the way! I wake up, hoping to have a nice, peaceful day and instead I get _this_! I get my boyfriend letting a girl flirt viciously with him! No, not my boyfriend. My _ex-_boyfriend." The tears deceived me and fell over my eyelids. They rushed down my face in a race to embarrass me.

"What - no! Lily, please!" James pleaded. I shook my head and walked away, skipping breakfast. That was the longest walk I ever took. The corridor echoed James' calls.

"LILY! Let me explain! LILY! Don't do this!" His voice cracked every other sentence. And I had to ignore it.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart  
The waking up is the hardest part  
You roll outta bed and down on your knees  
And for the moment you can hardly breathe_

**JAMES POV**

I couldn't believe it. Why did I let Felisha do that? On Lily's _birthday, _of all days! Why?! Where were my friends? I was an idiot.

I woke up with sticky, wet cheeks and my glasses askew on my face. I rolled over, the tears coming again. I didn't want to get up. I had skipped my classes yesterday and just lay in my bed. What else could I do?

I finally got out of bed, but I fell down on my knees and I put my hands out to keep me from falling further. I got some breath knocked out of me. I didn't exactly feel anything. I wondered where Lily was as I slowly stood up.

_Wondering was she really here?  
Is she standing in my room?  
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... _

The Head common room was empty, to my surprise. I always thought Lily was there in the mornings. Maybe that was just for me. Maybe she always waited up for me. It probably was. But I ruined that. She was gone. Maybe not from the school, but she was gone from my heart. From my grasp.

And all I could think was....what have I done?

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart  
The giving up is the hardest part _

**LILY POV**

I had to give him up, I remind myself constantly through the week. When I pass him in the hall. When I see him at meals. When he's with his friends. He didn't fight for us...remember?

But maybe there's reason behind it. I just didn't let him explain.

But he did me wrong. And I already had trust issues with him before. I couldn't do it anymore.

_ She takes you in with your crying eyes  
Then all at once you have to say goodbye _

My best friend, Rosie, told me it was okay as I cried every night. She said it would all work out in the end. But I couldn't believe Rosie this time. I couldn't forgive. And I wouldn't forget. I thanked her every night for comforting me and I always went to my room and tried (with no luck) to go to occupied my mind, all the time. I was almost afraid that if he left that I would have nothing. So I accepted those sleepless nights just for him.

Once, he had come in my room while I was sleeping and I heard him apologize in a sweet tone. But the pessimistic voice in the back of my head told me it could be a ploy. But the better part of me just wanted him to stay right where he was and never leave...  
_  
Wondering could you stay my love?  
Will you wake up by my side?_

I really thought he would be there when my eyes fluttered open from my hour of sleep. When he wasn't, I felt my stomach drop and my heart twist.  
_  
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...._

_Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh_

He wasn't there. I had done it. I had sabotaged a great relationship because he had let a girl fawn over him. What was my deal? He hated me. It wasn't a probably. It was a statement. I closed my eyes, flashes of his eyes appearing one by one in my mind. My head throbbed as I held back tears while watching moments flash in front of my eyes. Our first official kiss. Us dancing by the Black Lake. James picking me up bridal style when I fell down the stairs. The Marauders cheering as we announced our dating. His eyes watering as I ended it...What had I done?  
_  
Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand  
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?  
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?  
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?_

**JAMES POV**

I almost gave her flowers. I couldn't find any lilies, so I picked white roses and turned them a soft green, the color of her eyes. I was going to give them to her.

I sat on the couch in our special Head Girl/Boy common room, waiting for her to come back. I sat there for a long time, just thinking. Before long, I drifted into sleep.

_Baby won't you get them if i did?  
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...._

I was awake, but I didn't open my eyes. I didn't want to face reality. I hadn't wanted to for a week. But I heard a heart-breaking sob coming from behind me. I knew it was Lily. Who else would be here? I sat up quickly, getting a bit dizzy from head-rush.

"Lily?" I asked the room.

"James." Her voice quivered. I looked at her sobbing form. It must have been the middle of the night; the only light was coming from the dimming embers of the fireplace. I cleared my throat.

"These are for you." I awkwardly handed them to her. She smiled.

"I thought so." She laughed dryly. I grinned. I hadn't heard her laugh or seen her radiant smile in a week. It felt good to hear it again and see the smile on her Godess-worthy face. "Why are they green?"

"They're the color of your eyes. The only color I adore." I blushed and looked down, ruffling my already messy hair.

"I love them." It was the first conversation we had in a long time and I was glad it wasn't negative. I wanted my Lily back. I couldn't imagine leaving Hogwarts without her with me.

"Lily, I don't know what happened...I'm really sorry. I was kind of...off?" I tried.

"I know...I'm sorry I went off on you like that. I overreacted. I'm sorry." She began to cry. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She put her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, too Lily."

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart  
The waking up is the hardest part_

**LILY POV**

A week ago, I wanted it to be a nightmare.

But I wouldn't be able to live if this weren't real.

--

**:D Thanks for reading!**


End file.
